52/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (17 months - 74 weeks)

Oh my sweet babes. This picture wraps up a full year with you. And what a journey this year has been - witnessing you grow from 5 month old babes to 17 month old little beings who hold my heart tighter every day. You experienced your first taste of food, glorious fruits and delicious morsels of bacon nipped right off our plates; you travelled to new places and saw Cape Town, the sea, the bush and the mountains;  your gurgles and gabbles transformed into actually words; you became aware of family and friends and the world, naming those you love and holding creatures in your hands; your bond with each other became more evident as you continually refer to each other, imitate each other, look for each other and hold each other; your faces have changed and your limbs have stretched and I think you're more beautiful at every glance; your laughs get better and better and I want to bottle the sounds bubbling from your wide open mouths; you learnt to sit, crawl, stand, walk and run. And fly babies. Oh my how you fly. Growing, changing, learning, and always, becoming. Likewise, along with you and because of you, I have felt myself growing, changing, learning, and always becoming too.

51/52

 A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (16 months and three weeks - 73 weeks)

Oh these faces. My favourite faces in all the world. When I close my eyes in many years time and think back to these babyhood days, I think these are the faces that will come to mind. When I look a them from a distance, when I step out of the moment, I already miss the acute memory I have of them. The luxury of looking at your faces and getting lost in them. Anna, the twinkle of an eye when you find something amusing, and eyes wide open in wonder. That big, smile showing top and bottom teeth when you laugh. Florence, the let down of your entire expression when you're upset, your pursed lips in inquiry, and your huge, opened mouth smile. The feeling of your perfect skin on my cheek. Even now I have difficulty in describing them in such detail that would allow me to step back in time...

50/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (16 months and two weeks - 72 weeks)

We picked this spinach from our veggie garden - the leaves larger than your faces. We are outside a lot this time of year when pent up summer afternoons start bulging with thunderclouds. I want to cultivate in you a love of outdoors and nature, and in doing so it is reminds me of the beauty and simplicity of being outside. We chase ants with our fingers, Florence manages to catch one and proudly brings it to me. A game we repeat with imaginary ants throughout the day. We look for hadedaes and guinea fowl in the garden, we marvel at ladybirds on our Swiss chard leaves. The cats in the complex grounds are scary but enticing and your little bodies quickly jump on mine when one saunters by too close for comfort. We say hello to the chameleon statue hidden under a bush, still with that child belief that the unreal is real.

49/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (16 months and one week - 71 weeks)

Joy to the world. 

48/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (16 months - 70 weeks)

I like that your changes and growth are aligned with the seasons. It speaks of an ebb and flow of life beyond our control and counting. Spring gives way to summer and humid muggy days as the plants in our veggie garden burst and bloom and ripen. A shyness of new blossoms becomes a spurt of ruddy petals freshly fallen on green-green lawn. And your little bare feet tentatively step on wet soil with hose pipe in hand and no clothes on the body. Sticky, sweet watermelon drips down your chins and we loudly exclaim how much we love these summer months. 

47/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (15 months and four weeks - 69 weeks)

I find it hard to describe each of you and sum you up in a few words. Although you are completely different personalities, it isn't as easy as saying one is more dominant or funny or easy going. The reason for this I believe is that you are continually evolving and becoming, and at the same time I am continually learning about you. Florence, you adore your comforts of a dummy and your binky at bedtime, and last night Anna fell asleep clutching a toothbrush (and anything could have been in place of the toothbrush  - a binky or a spoon).  Anna at the moment you are the bossy boots, yet you are terrified of flies (which Florence lovingly points out to you whenever she sees one), and ants. Florence you catch ants with two of your chubby little fingers which you wouldn't believe could pick up something so small and quick. I'm learning of Florence's preferences for chandeliers and scarves and Anna's preference for anything Florence is holding. You both love hats and prance around inside with all sorts of head gear on. Anna loves cheese whereas Florence prefers strawberries or oranges or anything an adult is eating. The way you eat strawberries is different (Florence holds the stalk and finishes the entire fruit while Anna picks at it delicately with her fingers). I've learnt you are both determined souls, you know what you want. Anna, you will try and do anything Florence can do and really believe you can also walk on tiptoes. In general, you both want to do what the other is doing. You're kind hearted too, even though it is hard to be twin at times, you share and negotiate. You both have a cheeky streak, to go hand in hand with a cheeky grin and cheeky eyes. Florence, you wear your heart on your sleeve whereas with Anna what you see is not always what you get.

You're sassy and soft and smart and funny and little lights of joy. I can never capture all of you but learning all this about you is one of my favourite things about being your mama. 

46/52

 A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (15 months and three weeks - 68 weeks)

The sweetest thing. Florence calls Anna "Nana" and, thinking that is what you call you twin sister, Anna calls Florence "Nana" too. 

45/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (15 months and two weeks - 67 weeks)

You chatter constantly. Especially Anna. Funny little sounds and words and entire conversations with each other, with us, to yourselves. I love the sounds of these words, intricate and complex and strange - they sound like entire languages from far off lands - bits of Japanese mingled with Russian and Hebrew. I wish I record them and listen to them forever.

But real words are finding there way through all the time - such as hi, bye, shoe, two, cheese, Ches, mama, papa, Anna (Nana), Honor (Nona), Cate (Tata), Bear, why, mommy (when you want something from anyone), ya, no, nee, cheetah (cheet), blue (boo), ba (boo), birdie (bee), bird (tootoo), haededa (da), sheep (baba), baba...

And then you find ways of pretty much indicating and communicating anything to us - pointing at water, actions of washing you hands or twinkling your fingers, a tongue in and out for a cat, blowing kisses (which can also mean get away from me!), a finger at your cheek reminds me to give your your iron, swish swish are windscreen wipers, and pointing at your palm could mean you want to hold a ladybird, an ant, any other insect, or you may just want "Round and Round the Garden."

You indicate your preference fro a certain song through sounds ("Doh" for "Do ray me"), or actions (you clap yours hands together from "Handjies klap"), or pointing to a certain book which contains a certain picture which triggers a certain song: a picture of a queen triggers "The queen of hearts", a moon triggers "When the moon hits your eyes", tapping on your chest is either "Hoe ry die boere" or "Oh ek het 'n perd" or "Baa baa black sheep" (if accompanied by you saying "baabaa"), an elephant is "Oom olifant", a tap on your head is "It's raining, it's pouring", and the list goes on for almost any picture or animal we see. I make up a lot of songs for you so the trick is remembering the words I made up for a song about a certain object. For example, a car is "Riding in my car). You are also very specific abot which song you want when and who must sing it.

Oh you are fascinating little beings at 15 and a half months.

44/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (15 months and one week - 66 weeks)

Happy Halloween my crazy little cubs. When you woke from your afternoon nap we dressed you up inn these bunny masks and bat-onesies and  popped to the park in Parkview which was transforming from peaceful playground to buzzing festivities, spider webs and smoke machines, and gatherings of witches and wizards and bumble bee families. You are both shy little souls and although you seemed fascinated by the ongoings (from the close proximity of mama's legs) your expressions in this picture sum up your feelings appropriately. 

43/52

 My mom, Anna, Florence, my sister Alex, and niece Honor 

My gran and her great grand twins

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (15 months - 65 weeks)

It was my birthday this week, and your great granny came to visit. Age seems to matter less with babies around. Although you hold up two fingers and say "two" when I ask how old you are, and I answer "no, you're one" much to your delight, you have no concept of age yet. Strangely, because i see you changing so quickly, you are also highlight how quickly time passes and persistent this thing called aging is. These philosophical ramblings aside, you make every birthday sweeter. As I a new year you help me remember what a privilege it is simply to be alive and healthy and a mama to you two. 

42/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (14 months and three week - 64 weeks)

Each day is full and busy and non-stop between waking you up, feeding you, changing your nappy, making your food, wiping your face, drying your tears, putting you to sleep, dressing you, walking you, playing with you, packing away, unpacking, changing you, chasing you, picking you up, tickling you, laughing with you, consoling you, dancing with you, rocking you, holding you, letting you go, catching you. Loving you.

Hello there, I've missed you

Hello lovely readers - if there are any of you still here. Sorry for the silence. I can't believe I have been away from here for almost two months! I have missed it and will now attempt to play catch up with my weekly portrait posts. (You know how the longer you leave something, the harder it is... Yip, that's where I am right now so I need to just jump in).

I blame it (mostly) on the fact that I have been working on Rock-a-Baby, a fair from moms and babes which took place in Braamfontein at the end of September. Putting this fair together was a full time job, done so with babes on hips and during nap times and night times and basically any free time I could find. I'm pleased to say the fair was a success (people actually came and bought stuff!) and was worth all the effort we put in to it. Here are some pics of the day, taken by Lauren Kim Photography. Follow us on Facebook for more photos and updates.

41/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (14 months and two week - 63 weeks)

My babies are on that brink between toddler and baby. It's a fleeting space which hovers bewteen these two stages before imperceptibly slipping into toddlerdom. Wobbly steps are sometimes replaced by speedy crawling. Words are said with meaning, interspersed with baby babble. Rolls are still visible, yet visibly stretched. Faces change. Curls begin. Dirt appears under finger nails. That soft fontanel slowly closes. Bits of my babies disappear and new little bits emerge.

40/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (14 months and one week - 62 weeks)

 

My little rumpled faces waking up in the morning. These are very typical expressions of both of you and to me you are beautiful. I can't get enough of your faces, I can stare at them for hours and before I can help myself I gather you up in my arms to nuzzle that place where your shoulders meet your neck.

39/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (14 months - 61 weeks)

Soft downy heads and twin whispers. Sisters and soul mates.  Private jokes and sudden giggles. Copy cats and tormentors. Physical fascination and empathetic reciprocity. Exactly the same and yet so completely different. Sharing and swapping, continually negotiating. Spontaneous kisses and occasional nips. You look for each other when you wake up and smile when you see each other. You show concern when the other cries. You always want what the other has. You want to do what the other does. You want to eat what the other eats. Your milestones have tracked so closely, as if you've decided together when to stand and when to blow bubbles. A push, a pull, entwined hands. You trade as a form of sharing, as if by offering something else you can claim what the other has. They say the bond between twins is stronger than the bond between a mother and child. Watching you two I believe it's true.

38/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (13 months and 4 weeks - 60 weeks)

I love it when babies mimic adult positions. The bending of knees to look at something under the table, walking with hands behind the back,  peering around corners. The position of a hand on a knee. A gesture that takes you by surprise in its unbaby-like fashion. In the same way that your thumbs seem too grown up for your chubby little paws.

37/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (13 months and 3 weeks - 59 weeks)

I am amazed by how much you know and how much you understand. You find ways to communicate your wants, like little actions for water or finger pointing and closed eyes for ice from the freezer. You follow detailed instructions and can identify tiny details in the books we read to you. Those little brains are taking in everything, learning, copying, imitating. And then making it all your own.

36/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (13 months and 2 weeks - 58 weeks)

My mom told me that she loved the feeling of her babies on her hip so much that she carried us everywhere.  I know what she means - that perfect weight on your hip bone, a little arm around your back, sometimes playing with the hair at the top of your neck, sometimes tightly gripping the fabric of your sleeve, little legs swinging freely, face close and engaged in conversations about random sights around you, your arm wrapped around firm waists, warm skin, beating hearts. 

And I get to have two.  

35/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (13 months and 1 week - 57 weeks)

You've been taking little steps. Incidental, uncertain stumbles. But I am going to say today, Florence, you took your first steps. Wobbly, gleeful and full of pride.

Update: Anna took her first steps two days later. Not quite ready, but spurred on by watching Florence's achievement, it broke my heart to see you do it. The curse and blessing of being a twin.

34/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (13 months - 56 weeks)

Oh the juicy, sweet delights of strawberries. Florence you are very precise eater when it comes to these delicious winter fruit. And right now they are your absolute favorite thing to eat - you request one every meal. You delicately hold the short, green stem and take small bites until, savouring each mouthful (silent and serious in this endeavor), there is nothing left but a stalk and a few leaves. Anna, you prefer a hands-on method. You dig your fingers into the flesh which provides you with more joy than the taste of the strawberry. You too take the task at hand seriously, although it's hard to look passed the red stains on hands and babybgros and bibs and face. Touching, feeling, tasting, discovering. It makes me want to try strawberries for the first time again.

33/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (1 year and 3 week - 55 weeks)

That milky baby smell has all but gone. I catch myself smelling it now and then, perhaps late at night when I am rocking you back to sleep and my face is nestled in your hair.  My milk was the last thing you drank and your warm breaths against my shoulder take me back to a time when you were tiny. But I love this new, constantly changing smell. The smell of sweet, damp stickiness when you awake from your nap on a hot summer afternoon, the smell of peanut butter, bees wax and baby powder. The smell of Kimmy's perfume from riding her hip all morning. The metallic smell of chewing keys and holding onto to wagon edges. The faint hint of fresh herbs we've been picking in the veggie garden. And underneath all those transient smells, the smell of you forming and attaching and making me burst when I breath you in.

Nostalgia

I'm also talking about nostalgia. The speed at which babies grow and change means it's always lurking there - fresh nostalgia just beneath the surface of a smile.

{from here}

32/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (1 year and 2 week - 54 weeks)

A few mornings ago, just before the crack of dawn, you awoke at the same time and we snuggled you into bed for your morning feed, one in each arm.  You were both upset and it was taking a while to settle you back to sleep. It seemed that Anna was trying to console Florence as she gentle tapped her back and you eventually drifted off with hands entwined on my chest. Watching this warmed my heart and I want to write these moments down so I one day tell you stories of growing up as twins.

31/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (1 year and 1 week - 53 weeks)

Right now you are almost standing. You blow kisses and wave. You play catches with each other and read stories together, you can make animal sounds like lion growls and snakes hisses, you can clap and you know where you nose is, and where your toes are. You can climb on and off the couch. You have fantastic dance moves - Florence with your bouncy legs and head shakes, Anna with your wayward knee pop. You have learned a lot this year but I have learned more. I have learned to to change a nappy while dancing in order to entertain one of you sitting at my feet, I have learned to put a baby back to sleep while breast feeding another, I have learned to get two babies out of a car (it is harder than it sounds). I have learned of a patience I didn't realise was in me, I've discovered a calmness, and yet a fierceness as I watch over you like a mama lioness, I've learned of a depth of love only a parent can feel, and I've learned a lightness of heart that makes me sing and dance and play and laugh and feel like a child again.

30/52

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (52 weeks)

I've been finding it hard to write this post, the one on your fifty second week, on you becoming a full year. I can't express all the love I have for you. I tell you it's more than all the stars in all the sky. But that still doesn't quite capture the wholeness of what I feel, the way I am tangled up in you like the sun's light is with the moon. I hope that you will always know how much you are loved, through the million kisses I plant all over your tiny bodies, through the way I hold you close to me and stroke your wispy hair, through the way your laugh makes me laugh, and through the way I watch you in awe. May my love always embrace you, comfort you and ground you like roots into the earth so that you may soar.