31 December 2016

A portrait of my babes on the last day of the year, 2014 (1 year, 5 months)

A portrait of my babes on the last day of the year, 2015 (2 years, 5 months)

A portrait of my babes on the last day of the year, 2016 (3 years, 5 months)

How wonderful each year with you is. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 (3 years, 5 months)

We spent our Christmas holiday with our whole family on the Natal coast. I get nostalgic returning here – the smells of the tropical vegetation under foot as you make your way down to the beach through a jungle-like canopy, the sticky feeling of salt water drying on your skin, and the sight of tropical leaves lining every street bring back so many memories as we create new ones with you. Our barefoot days were spent going to the beach with the kids piled in the boot of the car amongst umbrellas and boogie boards and buckets, dips in the pool, late afternoon walks on the golf course, long swims in the sea, and and early mornings with the smell of the ocean and suncream more than hinting at what the day will hold.

My favourite thing about holidays is the carefree days. Shoes are abandoned before breakfast,  naps are a little bit longer, cousins are joined at the hip as endless play takes them from the house to the beach and back again, fingers are always a little sticky from big, fat litchis or home made mice pies or a bowl of Christmas pudding ice-cream. The smell of sun block permeates the air. Until it rains. And we watched the storm roll in  from across the ocean and blow away our towels hanging over the balcony. Until the next morning when the world appears new and we begin our beach rituals all over again in a cycle of endless days, rolling into one long and happy memory of bare-bodied babes, and ocean swims, and salty hair and sand at the bottom of the bath, and the deepest sleeps from all the fresh air. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 (3 years, 4 months)

Our annual Christmas card photograph. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 (3 years, 3 months) 

A morning at Beech wood Gardens on my birthday. 

"I do know how to pay attention how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, which is what I have been doing all day. Tell me, what else should I have done? Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild ad precious life?" Mary Oliver

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 (3 years, 2 months)

Five little cousins at Jack's first birthday. How lucky you are to have each other. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 (3 years, 1 month)

Happy spring day little flowers!

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 (3 years) (Some pics by Lucky Pony)

Your third birthday party can be summed up in a few words - ponies, pink balloons, chocolate cake, and fairies. What a special day, celebrating with special people. Being three is magical. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 ( 26 July, 3 years)

When you were new and tiny, I would often cast my mind to this day, your third birthday, and I was not be able to imagine what it would be like to have two two year olds, or two three year olds. I could picture two one month olds because we were going through it right then and there. But two three year olds! And now we are here and it is beyond anything I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. How much you amaze me, challenge me, grow me, make me laugh, make me cry, teach me, try me, and let me be an intimate witness to one of the most special relationships between two humans. Your third birthday means I have been a mother for three years (and for no time and for all time). And I can't believe my babies have grown and changed and morphed from newborns to little people who are celebrating their third birthday. 

The day started with balloons and presents in bed, and ended that way too. In between you opened presents - we gave you handmade dolls and you got pink tricycles from Kimmy and Bear, you went for a hair cut, we blew out candles, we ate cake, we went for high tea at The Westcliff with the family, and we sang happy birthday a million times. 

Happy birthday darling girls. You are the brightest lights. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 ( 2 years 8 months)

Birthdays, more specifically birthday cakes and teh surrounding ritual of blowing out candles and singing happy birthday, are one of your favourite things. You often play "birthday" and we have to sing to the fairies or whichever family member you selected to celebrated. Most of your baths are taken up with making cakes (from soap and sponges) and then singing happy birthday. You have two English versions of the song, an Afrikaans version, and a Zulu version, so these games can take up quite some time. You often call me to be included in the celebration and we all have to stand and sing around whatever object is the "cake" in that game.

Francie Sugar's first birthday party was this week. And I think the cake ritual was your favourite part. In fact, you thought it was as much your celebration as it was the birthday girl's. It is so special to see you and your cousins all growing up and attending each other's parties, blurring the lines between between party guest and birthday girl. Cutting cakes for each other and singing at the top of your lungs. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2016 ( 2 years 7 months), annual Easter party in Kimmy & Bear's garden

It is the first year you've really been aware of Easter. You were so excited to find out about this special time in the year, and although you prefer Jesus to stay a baby (you really like the Christmas story), the fact that chocolates were involved means that Easter is now highly rated by you. I love how these events and occasions gain a new meaning when we're celebrating with you. It give gravitas to simple actions, like painting eggs and hiding chocolates, and putting effort into small things which light up your faces but previously would not have been done. I love that about being a parent, how your children really make you slow down, be present,  and focus on what's really important. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2015 (27 months), pre Christmas Eve sparklers at Cheska's home

Me: What do you want for Christmas?

A: (without hesitation) a star!

F: me also want a star!

Happy Christmas baby girls. You make it so special.

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2015 (27 months)

Honor's fifth birthday party. Your perfect profiles, and pretty little bonnets made by Kimmy, watching the older girls jump on the trampoline. Watching, observing, taking it all in. You were very excited for this party because singing 'happy birthday' and blowing out candles is one of your favourite things to do. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2015 (26 months)

Kitten bunnies, Halloween 2015. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2015 (24 months)

We gave you each a copy of Peter Pan for you birthday. A beautiful book and a magical story that I hope will weave it's way through your childhood. When I read the opening paragraph to you on the morning of your birthday I knew it was exactly the gift we were meant to give you - Why can't remain like this forever. 

“All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, ‘Oh, why can’t you remain like this for ever!’ This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end.” J.M Barrie, Peter Pan

Happy second birthday darling girls. You are 730 days old. Two full circles around the sun. You have been so excited about your birthday. Florence has been exclaiming "Me's Happy Birthday" (referring to both the day and the cake) the whole week in anticipation. Yesterday we baked your cake at Cheska's house with Honor and we we had the sweetest celebration at our home, complete with candles, party hats, golden balloons, macaroons, and 'Happy Birthday" strung across the door. I love this stage. I love this age. And if possible I love you more each day. I could not possibly have imagined how incredible it is to be your mama. More incredible it is than I ever could have imagined. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2015 (21 months), celebrating Bear's 60th at Sibon

We celebrated Bear's 60th birthday while we were at Sibon. He was happy to be celebrating in a place he loves with the people he loves. You were most happy to taste a lick of icing. Old and young and everything in between. It's quite emotional to see your parents age, an acute realisation that even your rock succumbs to the passing of time. I've learnt a lot from my dad which I hope to teach you - the importance of family, a love of the bush, standing up for what I believe, and believing I can do any thing I put my mind to.

Summer goodnight

We take a walk in our garden every evening after dinner. By the chill on our skin you can feel the seasons are changing.

yellow the bracken

golden the sheaves

rosy the apples

crimson the leaves

mist on the hillsides

clouds grey and white

autumn good morning

summer goodnight

Happy New Year!

So my new year always begins in February. January arrives too quickly amidst holidays and after the festive season and I find it doesn't give me enough time to reflect, plan and prepare for the year ahead. Thus February is a much more sensible month to begin a new year. So, as one does in a new year, here are my resolutions for 2015:

- Learn a magic trick. When I was a child I fancied myself quite the magician, with a set of magic cards, magic tricks and a coerced audience of family members. But my skills have long since faded it is time to hone them once again. Because, you never know when you may need a trick up your sleeve or a little bit of magic.

- No technology in bed. With twin babes who are not winning any sleep awards, sleep is particularly precious to me and yet I often find myself checking my phone or browsing social media for another 10 minutes. I know there are a host of other scientific reasons why you shouldn't browse just before sleeping but for me this is mostly driven by the need to get to sleep as quickly as possible without wasting any time.

- Simplify. This is quite a sweeping statement which mainly has to do with tidying my house up and removing clutter. We live in an apartment and are sort of bursting at the seams so this is a necessity. But I also believe that decluttering your home has a positive impact on all areas of your life. I bought this book to aid and inspire me in this project and I can't wait to started.

- Drink a cup of warm water with fresh lemon every morning. Great way to wake up the body and easy too. Apparently there are numerous health benefits. 

- Make time for creativity. I do not have enough spare hours in my day to meet all the time needed to complete all the projects I want to do. But I am going to try and dedicate more time to these projects to keep those juices flowing: write, do a calligraphy course, sort out all my photographs, master photoshop.

Have a wonderful year!!!

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (16 months and one week - 71 weeks)

Joy to the world. 

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A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (15 months and one week - 66 weeks)

Happy Halloween my crazy little cubs. When you woke from your afternoon nap we dressed you up inn these bunny masks and bat-onesies and  popped to the park in Parkview which was transforming from peaceful playground to buzzing festivities, spider webs and smoke machines, and gatherings of witches and wizards and bumble bee families. You are both shy little souls and although you seemed fascinated by the ongoings (from the close proximity of mama's legs) your expressions in this picture sum up your feelings appropriately. 

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 My mom, Anna, Florence, my sister Alex, and niece Honor 

My gran and her great grand twins

A portrait of my babes once a week in 2014 (15 months - 65 weeks)

It was my birthday this week, and your great granny came to visit. Age seems to matter less with babies around. Although you hold up two fingers and say "two" when I ask how old you are, and I answer "no, you're one" much to your delight, you have no concept of age yet. Strangely, because i see you changing so quickly, you are also highlight how quickly time passes and persistent this thing called aging is. These philosophical ramblings aside, you make every birthday sweeter. As I a new year you help me remember what a privilege it is simply to be alive and healthy and a mama to you two.